Is coaching for me? (Longer Read)
This is the second of three central questions to ask yourself when you are thinking about coaching.
1. What is coaching?
2. Is coaching for me?
3. How do I choose the right coach?
Is coaching right for me?
This is a great question and important when thinking about coaching. Coaching is an interactive experience, it’s all about you; developing your self-awareness, identifying factors that are getting in your way, the part you play in them, accepting the present situation and working with your coach on what you want to change and how to move forward.
It’s an investment and it’s not passive. You do most of the talking and out with sessions there may be some time required for reflection, practice, experimenting, seeking feedback, and noticing; light homework that compounds your personal development. It really is a case of getting out what you put in.
How do I know if I’m ready?
If your curious about coaching I find there is usually an inkling of being ready for ‘something’, if there isn’t a full ‘yes, it’s for me’. That inkling is often a great spark for a conversation about what you do and don’t want, what’s bothering you, what you feel you’d like to work on or develop. It only needs to be a spark or a curiosity; you don’t need a fully prepped agenda or a huge problem to solve.
What sort of things is coaching for?
There may be a confidence wobble as you step into a new role or set off to start your own thing. There may be some relationship niggles or issues at work, and you need a confidential ear to explore how you deal with them. You might be questioning what’s important to you and how you can feel more authentic in your work and relationships. You might have had some feedback that you want to process, understand, and work with. You might be idling on procrastination island and need to get moving on an important and critical project. You might be riding the crest of a wave and want to harness it. You might feel a bit rudderless, busy yet frustrated with your progress. If any of these resonate or create a spark of “I wonder, I could achieve if I spent some time on this” and you’re open to exploring the part you in play in it; coaching with the right coach will help you to help yourself.
What do I need to take on?
Only you can really know if coaching is for you and if you are ready to be coached. I can only really speak to coaching with me, and I found over the years that there are some key attributes to coaching that really need you to embrace, be curious about and open and receptive to:
Feedback:
There is usually a depth of work involved in describing your strengths and development areas in some for from; appraisals in your work environment, possibly 360 degree feedback or simply from our work together in our sessions inwhat emerges for you and as your coach I’ll feedback to you what I hear, see and sense.
Developing self-awareness:
There is a powerful focus on awareness of yourself In my practice. Your style, feelings, thoughts, beliefs, approach, values, and principles and how these connect and shape your behaviours, emotional responses, thoughts, and outcomes are important.
Commitment:
You need a significant level of personal commitment and buy-in to experience the benefit of coaching. It requires your time, effort, and dedication from and to yourself. You can’t phone it in and expect results.
Movement:
Coaching focusses on “so what?” in the most positive sense. So what does all this mean for me at work and life? – what do I need to focus on, work on, and practice? It’s about reflecting on past experience as it presents itself, right now and having aims that create sustainable momentum to keep moving forward and get where you want to be.
Shifts:
Fundamentally it’s about accepting you where you are right now and working towards the changes you want to make for you. You really need to want to shift and change - which might feel somewhat scary, but maybe also necessary.
Investment:
It’s an investment in you and a commitment to yourself. Your time, for you to focus on you and your development and achieving what you know you want.
The reality
I’ll be upfront as I think it helps to get perspective. If you really don’t like feedback to the point of actively resisting and entirely dismissing it, coaching will be a turbulent, bumpy journey for you; but it’s a great way to explore what you don’t like about feedback, what it means to you and how you can over-come this.
If you do not want to develop self-awareness and to understand your yourself, your feelings, emotions, behaviours and how they are playing out for you, coaching with me is probably not going to be for you.
If you don’t see the need for anything to change, you have nothing to work on and/or have been sent unwillingly and against your better judgement for coaching by someone else you will probably be resistant and maybe even resentful. Coaching may not bring you much more than aggravation and irritation and I’m sure you have better things to do.
However!
Maybe you want to explore if the above is actually true. Are you are feeling some resistance from not really giving yourself the space to consider what benefits coaching could bring you or you actually want to challenge those aspects of yourself and the way you think, but know you’ll find it tough - that curiosity is a great start to coaching. The chemistry session is the space for you to ask all the questions you have about coaching and whether you feel it’s right for you. Only you will know for sure if coaching is right for you but telling me honestly how you feel and what you want will help me to help you work out if coaching is for you – then you can decide if coaching with me, is for you.
What type of coach am I?
I don’t work within a tight framework or formula, and I’m not licensed by any other large coaching organisations who work in this way. I’d say I’m proudly eclectic; I draw on different tools, models, frameworks that feel best for you in our time together. It’s your agenda, all about you. My role is to adapt my skills to suit you and your needs. That being said, I am not passive - I’m very actively involved in our sessions - without hijacking your needs or even needing to talk that much.
We might use feedback survey’s, picture cards, prompts, writing, objects, images, experiments - you might just talk, and I simply listen. I’ve studied many different genres of coaching and the psychology behind them in my master’s qualification. I’m experienced in 1:1 coaching, having practiced for many years in the businesses I’ve been part of. I’ve been a trainee, middle and senior manager and director in very large and very small businesses and start-ups, and I’ve started my own business. This equips me with a wealth of business and organisational experience and understanding of people and what it’s like to be part of an organisation or greater system whilst facing significant changes both corporately and personally. I don’t believe we can separate life and work. We bring ‘ourselves’ wherever we go, so whilst our coaching is centred in your executive life we will undoubtedly touch on every facet of you. I have more on “How to choose a coach”, in my journal which you may find useful.
I work with you on a developmental level. You’ve probably reached a stage in your career where you are technically competent and passed the need for new skills training and detailed performance management, although we will dip into the world of goal setting and action planning. Working developmentally, we create a personal reflective space for you to explore personal and professional questions, feedback, dilemmas and plans – it’s an intimate confidential space for you to explore what’s important to you and find solutions, answers, plans and ways to move forward; to create cognitive, behavioural and emotional change in a way that’s authentic to you.
Bottom line
Only you know if coaching is for you. My role as a coach is to help you help yourself. If you're curious, book a chemistry session and lets have a chat.