What is coaching? (Longer Read)
This is the first of three central questions to ask yourself when you are thinking about coaching.
1. What is coaching?
2. Is coaching for me?
3. How do I choose the right coach?
What exactly is coaching?
Great question! There are probably as many formal definitions of coaching as there are coaches. Characteristically all definitions of coaching are united as a non-clinical intervention that stimulates reflection and self-awareness (Passmore et al., 2018; Rogers, 2016), and identifies choices (Rogers, 2016) whilst looking to the future, invigorating sustainable change and optimisation of personal effectiveness (Bachkirova et al., 2018; Grant, 2013; Rogers, 2016). Coaching is “A human development process, that involves structured, focussed interaction and the use of appropriate strategies, tools, and techniques to promote desirable and sustainable change for the benefit of the coachee and potentially other stakeholders” (Bachkirova, Cox & Clutterbuck, 2018, p. xxviiii). My favourite description is Western (2012), he describes coaching as a non-judgemental, safe, diagnosis free space where the anguished-self can co-exist with successful-self, revealing anxieties and fears in the face of desires and ambitions; a place to reflect, become self-aware, self-engaged and gather a positive more fulfilling forward momentum.
Layman’s terms
I see coaching in its simplest form as one-to-one confidential conversation focussed entirely on you, your goals, and your well-being. In practice it’s much more though – it’s a practice that facilitates your desired change in cognitive, behavioural, and emotional terms, usually driven from your desire to be more effective in a personal, organisational, team, relationship and in a holistically authentic sense. It’s often said coaching is the most fascinating conversation about you, you will ever have - I totally agree. Coaching is real time learning and bespoke tailored personal development grounded in the present and focussing on the future, creating momentum, and achieving what’s important to you. There is nothing exact about it; there’s nothing exact about being human.
Why Coaching?
We live in a socially complex world that is increasingly uncertain and ambiguous. Whilst we are only a click away from an expanse of information, this information doesn’t always answer our questions or the pressing challenges we face in the context we face them. We have complicated personal and existential questions with no straightforward answers available on google. Coaching creates the space to explore the questions, answers, and solutions. A space to authentically explore you and what’s next for you. Many of us are working more flexibly and remotely which brings rewards and challenges on how to continue personal development in a hybrid or different environment. Coaching is personal development that is bespoke to you, right now, focussing on your current challenges and vision.
I believe personal development is a personal road trip, but that doesn’t mean you’re meant to travel alone – we all need input, perspective and help from time to time.
The external perspective
As your coach, I’m external to you and your day-to-day milieu, it’s a very different relationship to a close friend, partner, or pastoral companion. I work with senior level people both on a corporate (contracted by your organisation) and private (contracted by you personally) basis. Being external to the ins and outs of your daily grind brings advantages of not being bogged down or influenced by internal dynamics or politics; the ability to work confidentially and objectively; a breadth of new and different experiences; a different perspective and most importantly external coaches do not have your corporate agenda – they create a safe and non-judgemental space which is very difficult, some say impossible to do from within the organisation. This facilitated, guided and invigorating space offers you uninterrupted confidential time to think; quietly and out loud, hearing yourself and often getting into flow on what really matters. It provides a challenge and stimulation that is incredibly hard create on your own. It’s confidential which is also hard to find at a senior level – when do you get the chance to just say what you really think, feel and want? Never mind get the time to plan how to make the changes you need to make?
What coaching can help with?
Coaching is often part of or even the whole solution to a problem or dilemma you might be facing. Coaching, coaches, and clients are diverse, there isn’t defined list of what coaching can help with or what clients can bring, so here’s an idea of typical entry points into coaching:
Joining a new organisation or stepping into a more challenging position. The first few months can be daunting. I can provide a sounding board, facilitate your strategic intentions and keep you on track with your plan.
Uncertainty, self-doubt, overwhelm, procrastination; holding yourself back from starting, stopping or continuing the ‘thing’ that’s important to you. I can provide the space to work out where you are getting in your way and how to navigate these obstacles with successful results.
Supporting high potential individuals on their development path including working with 360-degree feedback programmes. Feedback didn’t make sense? It was not a true reflection? It stung like hell? It was amazing? So what next? I can help you formulate your thoughts, make sense of the feedback, muster your response and plan to keep on keeping on, in which ever direction it takes you.
Supporting leaders through the conception, formulation, and implementation of change programmes. This is a tough gig and it’s (in my experience) a lot to shoulder on your own. I can be a confidential and discrete sounding board to help you formulate your plan of action and deal with your own thoughts and feelings on the subject, and, be there to help you in the implementation stage of the plan and beyond.
Working on getting clarity on strategy, plans, goals, aims and objectives for you and your team. Sometimes you don’t know where to start or how to get something on paper, never mind wordsmith it and make it actionable - I can coach you through all stages of strategic development. As a sounding board; a supportive and critical ally in strategy development and implementation; sensitive dilemmas and harnessing growth.
Continuous personal development and personal growth. Is this my life? How did I get here? Where am I going? Who, really, am I? What’s my purpose? What do I want? These existential questions are perfect for coaching with me. I’m doing the work, I’ve explored them all in coaching, counselling and therapy… I know how important it is to find your answers to these types of questions. I can help you.
Start-up, overwhelm, small businesses and growing pains. It can be lonely in the hot seat of a small business. See all of the above!
Processing difficult high impact decisions and outcomes. Sounding board, thought partner, listening ear, challenging questions - I can help you identify your blind spots, limiting beliefs and find authentic momentum.
Feeling a bit lost and disconnected from yourself and others, I help you to find that authentic connection and spark gain and take into your business and personal life.
What coaching is not:
Many say coaching is defined as much by what it’s not as what it is. It’s not therapy or an alternative to therapy, although at times it can feel like quite a therapeutic and cathartic experience. It’s not passive, full disclosure - it’s not easy and it requires commitment and work from both of us. Your coach is not a fountain of advice, solutions, what to do’s or an all-knowing guru - but they support you ‘doing the work’ to answer your own questions and achieve what you want to achieve. I’m a supportive champion, encouraging and very much in your camp, but I will challenge you, highlight and explore incongruence, share with you how I experience you and offer a range of perspectives that differ from yours - you may not like what you hear all the time.
Practically, what to expect:
I’m very honest with you and I advocate and encourage you to be very honest with yourself. It’s likely you’ll experience a range of shifts, emotions, and realisations - it might feel difficult sometimes, but overall, coaching aims to be a positive, clarifying, rewarding, and empowering experience. Empowering? The buzziest of buzzwords I know, but it is true. Your change is your change, your goals are your goals, and you are responsible for you – part of coaching with me is owning and being responsible for the parts you play or chose to opt out of. As your coach I’m helping you to help yourself - and what a difference that help can make!
With me, sessions are normally 90 minutes and a programme of six sessions is a good starting point. Time between sessions is flexible depending on what you are working on – we usually agree a framework in our chemistry session and then check-in on that after each session, adjusting as we go. Sometimes three longer sessions are more valuable or appropriate to your organisation, agenda, or timescale. It’s all available for discission and as it’s a unique form of personal development for you, it can be tailored to suit you.
Location: I don’t coach you in your workspace/office (some coaches do though). I’d be immersing myself in your milieu which isn’t useful for me and it’s best to get you out of that space too. Away from people wondering what you’re doing, who you’re with, phone calls, pop-ins, and questions. Getting to a different location offers a space for preparing for our session and most importantly contemplation after – rather than getting straight back to your desk or into meetings. Changing the space allows you to change your energy. If we work virtually, which can work just as well as face-to-face, a lot of my clients like to be in the comfort of their own home (if quiet space is available there) and it’s worth considering how you counter zoom bounce to get the most out of the session if it’s during a busy day. I often meet clients face to face too in a suitable quiet location and sometimes a walk along the beach is perfect for a coaching session. A combination of virtual and face to face also works well, particularly in longer term relationships.
Interested in knowing more?
Check out my other journals on “Is coaching for me?” and my perspective on “How to choose a coach” and book in for a chemistry session or just give me a call – bring all your questions and let’s have a chat.
References
Bachkirova, T., Cox, E., & Clutterbuck, D. A. (2018). The complete handbook of coaching. Sage.
Grant, A. M. (2013). The efficacy of coaching. In J. Passmore (Ed.), The Wiley-Blackwell handbook of the psychology of coaching and mentoring (pp. 15-39). John Wiley & Sons.
Passmore, J., Peterson, D., & Freire, T. (Eds.). (2018). The Psychology of Coaching and Mentoring John Wiley & Sons.
Rogers, J. (2016). Coaching skills: the definitive guide to being a coach (4th ed.). Maidenhead: McGraw-Hill Education (UK).
Western, S. (2012). Coaching and mentoring: A critical text. Sage.